A rchive Date
[ 03-07-2000 ]
Category
[ International Relations ]
sub-Categoy
[ U.S ]
|
[A penny for Hillary's thoughts
For stoically standing by her man, her own reputation has taken a beating
By MARIANNE MEED WARD
Toronto Sun
October 5, 1998
You have to wonder what Hillary Rodham Clinton is thinking. Amidst a barrage of more details than we ever wanted about the latest sex scandal involving her husband - President Bill - Hillary has remained quiet on the question we most want answered: Why do you stay with him?
Here's a man who has had many extra-marital affairs. And here's a woman who, by all accounts is independent, intelligent, strong-willed - in short, the poster girl for feminism.
"Everybody says to me, 'How can you be so calm?'" Hillary commented in a January interview on NBC's Today show. "I guess I've just been through it so many times. (You can say that again!) It's not being numb, so much as just being very experienced in the unfortunate, mean-spirited give and take of American politics right now."
Despite her talents, Hillary, along with her husband, has become fodder for late night comedians. As talk-show host Jay Leno once quipped, the title of Hillary's next book could be: "It Takes a Village to Keep an Eye on My Husband."
And it takes $40 million to get him to admit anything.
Still, Hillary has stoically stood by her man, defending him even at the expense of her own reputation. And it has taken a beating.
She's been accused of being loopy for calling Kenneth Starr's spirited investigation of the president part of a "vast right-wing conspiracy." Being paranoid in America is practically a constitutional right. Why should the first lady be denied the fun?
She's been accused of being a sellout to feminists everywhere for not giving Bill the boot. This from the people who count among their numbers those who believe all men have more power than women, thus marriage is de facto sexual harassment and heterosexual sex is rape.
But this simplistic solution to Bill's infidelity - kick him out - betrays an astonishing misunderstanding of the plight of women in committed relationships. Hillary can't give Bill the boot without giving herself the boot, from the White House at least. This is true for many women in unhappy relationships. Getting out of the relationship often means getting out of the house, because he's unlikely to leave.
Which brings us to another criticism Hillary has endured. She's being portrayed as a political opportunist who rode to whatever power she has on the coattails of her husband. She's loath to give up that power, so she's willing to overlook any and all behaviour he may engage in. That's the theory anyway. Let's imagine for a moment this is true. So what?
The merit principle is highly overrated in the United States. None of us really achieves anything solely on our own merits. We have help from the people around us. Sometimes that help comes from teachers, co-workers or bosses. And sometimes it comes from spouses.
The assumption behind the attitude that help shouldn't come from spouses is that marriage should only be about love and romance, not economic security, political gain or job opportunities. In other cultures, both modern and historical, marriage is more about economics than love. How else to explain the practice of arranged marriages?
LOSE THE SCOWL
I'm not advocating wholesale implementation of such practices here, but we should try to wipe the scowl off our faces when we describe the Clinton marriage as a "partnership" or a "business relationship."
And Hillary clearly admires her partner.
"I believe the country is better off because my husband has been president," she said in the Today show interview. "When I balance what he's accomplished, and the hope he's given to people, and the way the economy has created opportunities for people against all of the challenges we've been through personally, it is worth it."
Those close to the first lady say her strategy is to stand fast, to support Bill entirely and unflinchingly in public and to be furious in private.
In our tell-all culture where privacy doesn't exist, we need to remember that Hillary doesn't owe any of us an explanation of her behaviour.
Marriages have survived worse - and have split up over less.
We'll just have to continue to wonder what she thinks.
Marianne Meed Ward is managing editor of Faith Today Letters to the editor should be sent to editor@sunpub.com
 World Fact Book (CIA)]
|