A rchive Date
[ 23-02-2005 ]
Category
[ International Relations ]
sub-Categoy
[ Canada ]
|
[Hooters a shock for owl enthusiasts
By EARL McRAE Ottawa Sun
June 7, 2000
Nine teenaged boys from Cornwall have been suspended from school because they went into a Hooters restaurant in Ottawa while here on a field trip, and I certainly support this punishment. I've never been in a Hooters restaurant, but I do know what a hooter is, and my dictionaries confirmed it. A hooter is: (a) an owl, (b) a siren or steam whistle.
The nine students from St. Lawrence High School in Cornwall were in Ottawa to tour the sights of the capital, including the museums, but nowhere on the school's tour list did it say they were to educate themselves on owls and sirens or steam whistles. If their school wanted them to learn about owls and sirens or steam whistles, it would have told them so, and since it didn't, they are guilty of insubordination and were properly punished.
There is only so much education a young mind from Cornwall can absorb on a brief field trip, and owls and sirens or steam whistles were not on the agenda. It doesn't matter if the culprits, looking towards a future career, had an obsession with owls and sirens or steam whistles; the school did not want them going anywhere near this stuff, and they brazenly did, an unconscionable defiance of authority.
FEMALE ANATOMY
As I said, I've never been in a Hooters establishment, which is why I was most stunned to learn that it is a restaurant and not a bird sanctuary or marine museum and that the name Hooters does not refer to owls and sirens or steam whistles. It refers to something disgusting and unmentionable to do with the female anatomy, and I will try to give you a clue.
Think between the neck and the belly button on a female. Let's see - think hills.
No, no, not Gatineau hills; hills as in ... okay, think Dolly Parton. What's the third thing you notice when you see Dolly Parton? Her face, right? Right. So, the first two are - the word best, take the word best and add the letters "r'' and "a'' and "s'' into it. That'll do it for you:
The word Hooters in the name of that place called Hooters does not refer to owls and sirens or steam whistles that you'll find inside, but the word best with the letters "r'' and "a'' and "s'' added into it.
The nine suspended boys are in Grades 9 and 10 and if someone as culturally enlightened as me didn't know what Hooters referred to, there's no way they did either. I mean, c'mon, they're from Cornwall. Nothing sexual, good or bad, has ever happened in Cornwall.
In fact, I've yet to meet teenaged boys from anywhere who know about or care about or would want to see a Hooter that is not the hooter that is an owl or siren or steam whistle. There is simply no question that when these innocents saw the name Hooters, they were excited at the opportunity to enhance their education by learning something about owls and sirens or steam whistles.
Aside from their school being rightly upset and suspending them because they defied the curriculum by attempting to learn about owls and sirens or steam whistles, I can fully understand the school's additional horror when it discovered these little children had their eyes unwittingly corrupted by the sight of best with the letters "r'' and "a'' and "s'' added into it.
One of the suspended boys said his teacher told him Hooters was a "strip joint'' and she didn't mean sirloin strip, but strip as in the female employees traipsing around bare naked displaying their best with the letters "r'' and "a'' and "s'' added into it. I didn't know this; but I do know that if I was 14 or 15 and entered a Hooters expecting to study the owls and sirens or steam whistles, I'd be severely distracted, to say nothing of traumatized, by something I'd never seen before: All those stripping wimmin flashing their nekkid, uh, Hooters.
Thank God for the morals of our educators; back in 1957, eight girls from Notre Dame Convent were suspended because they went to The Auditorium to see Elvis Presley, and he didn't even have Hooters, at least not imposing ones.
I remember like yesterday when I was 15 and how appalled I was when a buddy came back from New York and showed me a magazine with pictures of Brigitte Bardot in the nude. And I was particularly disgusted, even covering my eyes, when I noticed she had nothing covering her breasts with the letters "r" and "a" and "s" added into it.
Good thing my school didn't find out. I would have received a life suspension, but accepted it with true contrition.
McRae can be reached at (613) 739-5133, ext. 469 or mailed at earl_mcrae@ottawasun.com
 World Fact Book (CIA)]
|