A rchive Date
[ 16-06-2000 ]
Category
[ International Relations ]
sub-Categoy
[ Canada ]
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[Federal grants are fit for the King
By EARL McRAE Ottawa Sun
February 6, 2000
TWEED (CP) - Elvis Presley, the king of rock 'n' roll, says this sleepy little Eastern Ontario town has received a $180-million grant from Human Resources and Development Canada to paint the community's only traffic light.
"We asked for $18," says Presley, who has been hiding here since 1988 after fleeing the United States where there had been too many sightings of him.
Presley, 65, faked his death on Aug. 16, 1977, to escape the crushing burden of his fame.
He says the town council wanted to use his influence in getting the $18 grant from HRDC. A councillor got in touch with Moe Atallah, co-founder of the Elvis Sighting Society in Ottawa, who then passed on the request to Presley.
The singing icon then wrote to Jane Stewart, the HRDC minister, asking for the $18 grant.
He says a week later, a shipping trunk arrived at the town hall containing $180 million in $10 bills.
Presley: "The councillor phoned Moe and told him of the mistake and Moe phoned me. I then wrote to Jane Stewart telling her about the mistake."
What happened then, says a councillor requesting anonymity, is that a week later a government Hercules plane landed on the main street of Tweed, desolate at noon, and an HRDC assistant deputy minister disembarked.
"It was exciting," says the councillor. "The townsfolk had never seen an airplane before and didn't know what it was. They thought it was a deformed elephant. The guy who got out, he then opened the cargo hold, and there was this big, long limousine inside with a chauffeur behind the wheel.
"The guy stepped into the plane, got in the limo, the chauffeur backed it out onto the street, drove it to the town pay phone two metres away, and the guy put in a call to Elvis. I guess Elvis must have given Jane Stewart his private phone number."
Presley: "The guy wanted to meet me privately. We met behind a silo in an empty field. He didn't believe it was me because my hair is short and quite grey now, and I'm down to 185 lbs.
"Finally, I managed to convince him, and at first all he wanted to do was ask me questions about myself. He asked why I'd picked Tweed to live in and I told him what I've always said: For someone faking his death it's perfect because in Tweed you can't tell the living from the dead.
"He asked what I was doing for a living and I told him the environmental movement because I'd used so much hair spray when I was performing that I probably single-handedly destroyed the ozone layer, and now I feel a responsibility to save it.
"He asked if I had a girlfriend, and I said not yet because in Tweed you can't tell the women from the cattle, or the men for that matter."
Presley says the assistant deputy minister then handed him a note from Jane Stewart. The note read: "Dear Elvis. No mistake. One hundred and eighty million bucks, 18 bucks, who cares? It's not my money anyway. Also, don't bother sending a receipt. Have fun. Throw a big party. Oh, by the way: Do you think the Bay City Rollers will ever come back? Do you think Lesley Gore should have cried at her party even if she wanted to? Do you think Paul McCartney was in his bare feet on that album cover as a way to tell us he was dead?"
Painting the town
Presley says that after $18 was used to paint the town traffic light, he had Moe Atallah go before Tweed council with a motion that the remainder of the $180 million for the project be dispensed among the town's residents, known as the Tweedledums.
"It was the least I could do for Tweed having given me the freedom I sought," says Presley. "As a result, everybody in town is now a millionaire. I thanked Jane Stewart in a letter."
She wrote back: "Dear Elvis. Way to go. I'm sending another trunk with $200 million in it to cover expected population growth in the next few years. It wouldn't be right for Tweed to be a town of haves and have nots. Oh, by the way: You've probably seen pictures of me - are my legs better than Tina Turner's? Is it true Buddy Holly fought with his wife on the phone before his plane crashed? Did you like Paul Anka better before or after the nose job?"
Concludes Elvis Presley: "That guy with the hockey team in Ottawa who wanted $3.5 million from the government. Tell him to get a letter off to Jane Stewart. He'll get a shipping trunk back with $350 million in it, no questions asked."
McRae can be reached at (613) 739-5133, ext. 469 or emailed at earl_mcrae@ottawasun.com
 World Fact Book (CIA)]
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